I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
