i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
