imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
