i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
