i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
