was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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