Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
