We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
