why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
