Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
