Are we in a gay sports bar?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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