is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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