YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
