Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i need some magic done to my vagina
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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