So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
