You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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