Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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