operation harelip BJ is a go
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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