I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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