dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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