Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
