id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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