i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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