My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
