The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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