seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
