I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
