She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
we're so committed to being not committed
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
