like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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