in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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