Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
