i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
