Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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