That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
