No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
