cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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