you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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