You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
