Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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