He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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