Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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