So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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