Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
