how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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