she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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