Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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