my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
