I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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