i wish peter jackson would direct porn
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
