But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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