Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
