I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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